We were getting the kids ready this morning, when my husband said, “Do you think they will remember?”
“All the stuff we do with them, the places we take them…they won’t remember much of it, would they?” And I thought he’s right. They won’t! Not much of it anyway. But still, it matters to us, because he and I will remember… every little bit of it.
Someday in the future, when our son introduces us to his girlfriend, we will remember a time when all that mattered in his world were his mommy & daddy. How he saw us would paint the canvass of how he would see his first big relationship. As our teenage daughter claims her mom doesn’t understand fashion or how we don’t understand her generation, we will remember that all it took when she was 4-years-old was a peck on the cheek, a bear hug and just some comforting words and that although she has no memory of it now, she could warrant this unwanted advice on any day & at any age, she turned to us.
We will remember as we redecorate our home that we don’t need to worry about drawings on our walls or scratches on the floor. But I will yearn, I will ache, to see a little scribble on my wall.
And as I watch my children with their children, I will remember that every trip we took to the park, every day we showered them with love, every time we played a board game or cycled by the beach, or massaged their feet on a tiring day, cheered them at football or a ballet class; it was all in their quest to be a good parents themselves.
And as I walk along the beach someday in years to come, happy n old, my face lined with the creases of my thoughts, my feet not so steady, my soles soaked in warm soft sand… All I will remember my child is you walking to the sea with your daddy on a day that I thought would last forever but has now long gone.
And my darling child, I will tell you what you don’t remember… Holding your little body against my skin in the first few days of your life, a feeling that overwhelms every emotion I have ever experienced!
Holding your tiny hand as you took your first steps. Away from me & towards the world.
Holding it together when your daddy threw you up into the air, you squealing with delight, & me photographing that moment in memory forever.
Holding you my baby, your hand, or your head while reading you a story.
Holding back the tears when you had me filled with pride as you hosted your first school concert.
And you may say “I don’t remember any of that”.
But I will.
As I watch you transition from a child to a teenager to an adult to a parent & into your unique self, I will know that what I remember, keeps you so dear to me.
And what you don’t remember, made you, YOU.
And no matter how old you are, precious little child, should you find yourself up in the air, call us. Daddy knows how to catch you. Remember?
Love, Ma and Pa.